Or did trust. I showed up on time, with cakes I picked up from my favorite bakery. Everything seemed normal at first; she and her husband were warm and welcoming, cracking jokes. I joined them in the kitchen as they cooked. My friend seemed a bit weird. She complimented me on my outfit, a bit over-pleased about the dress I had chosen to wear.
About ten minutes after I arrived the doorbell rang. I put down my glass of wine and looked at my friend. She avoided me and went to answer the door, returning with ‘Roger’.
Roger is her husband’s co-worker. Single, of course. I smiled when introduced and we all made small talk for a bit. Then we all sat down for dinner and made awkward conversation. I kept trying to catch my friend’s eye but she was studiously avoiding looking at me. When I was able to get her alone in the kitchen for a minute, while prepping dessert, she cringed.
Her: You don’t like him? He’s a great guy!
Me: !!! You can’t spring a guy on me like that!
Her: You wouldn't have come if I told you. And you need to try dating more.
Me: I date plenty.
Her: I believe the last date you went on was New Year’s Eve.
Me: Yes, and you remember what a disaster that was? At midnight I was escorting his very drunk self into a cab to deliver home, only to discover that the home held a wife and kids.
Her, trying not to laugh: Yes, okay, we learned that guys lie on dating profiles. That’s why this is better. Jason knows Roger from work and his single status has been verified. No kids either!
Me: Awesome.
Her: Give him a chance. You’re here anyway, might as well enjoy it.
Me: Okay, okay. But I need extra cake.
I did make the best of it - tried to get to know Roger. The conversation was work - it was…. painful. Like this:
Me: Roger, what do you like to do in your free time? Are you a runner like Jason?
Roger: No. I play golf.
Me, knowing nothing about golf: Oh, have you been playing long?
Roger: Five years.
Me: Ah. I have only played golf once. It was a company outing and we were in teams - we played scramble style so we all hit the ball and then took the best of each shot. It was fun, especially since my terrible shots didn’t cause us to lose. Actually, we won! The president of the company, who took golf very seriously, wasn’t impressed that his team lost. Strangely we never did a company golf outing again.
Roger: [silence]
It was like that. Roger just wasn't able to have an easy conversation, or he wasn't interested in making the effort with me. We apparently share no interests (not that he asked me about mine). There is no reason for us to spend any time together ever again. He seemed like a decent guy - I see why my friend thought it was worth a try. She didn’t know he would turn out to be boring and socially awkward. She said later that when she had met him at company parties he always seemed more talkative. Apparently he is chatty about work-stuff and nothing else.
This is the joy of being single.
Most of my friends are in relationships, many are married, several are en-route to children. They all want to help me catch up. I don’t have any interest in the dating scene, though. Sure I want to meet someone I connect with, but I’m too jaded by the grind of the dating process to do it anymore. Too many bad dates. I just want to live my life without feeling like I have to hunt down a partner.
Given all the upheaval in my life right now, I’m going to leave my love life alone and worry about other things. Assuming I can get my friends to stop springing blind dates on me.
At least the cake was tasty.
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