Monday, October 13, 2014

Morning Walks

Mary and I have been out for our morning walks two days in a row! Okay, it’s not a huge accomplishment yet, but let’s celebrate baby steps, let’s celebrate starting something! Besides, if you knew how much effort it takes to get Mary going, you’d make a big deal of two outings too.

Here’s how it went today:

Me, forcing myself to be chipper when I really just want to go back to my warm armchair and book: Come on Mary, it’s almost 9, let’s go. It’s beautiful out!

Mary, emerging from the bathroom, finally: Beautiful? It’s grey and dreary like it is every day.

Me: Well, it’s not raining, and it’s not freezing cold, so I call that beautiful. Where do you want to go today? Any photo ideas?

Mary, walking very slowly downstairs: I don’t know if outdoor photography is really my thing.

Me: But you were so enthusiastic about it last year - every walk we went on you were saying you wished you had a proper camera.

Mary: Did I? I don’t remember. Well, if Charles had gotten the right camera, maybe - no, I just don’t think it’s a good use of my skills to be wandering out in the woods, fussing with camera settings, worrying about lighting. You know, I took a great portrait of Charles a few months ago and sent it to his mother and she never said anything about it! And it was a very good portrait. I shouldn't be surprised, the Musgroves can’t appreciate good art, don’t have the education - you know.

Me, pulling Mary away from the living room towards the vestibule: Come out for a walk with me then, leave the camera if you prefer. I’m determined to have a daily morning walk, I would love your company.

Mary, frowning: Oh, Anne, you’re so demanding! You know, you shouldn’t always be thinking about what’s most convenient for you. I wonder if this is why you’re still single - men don’t like demanding women, you know.

Me, biting my tongue very hard, and handing Mary her coat: uh huh.

Mary: I wonder if Charles has any single friends we could set you up with while you’re here. It’s a bit embarrassing that you’re still single. And a mystery too, I mean just your surname alone should mean you have men lined up wanting to marry you.

Me, hastily putting on my coat and hat: I’m not sure I want to be in a relationship with someone who is only interested in the family legacy.

Mary: Yes, true, you have to find someone who is of equal stature - they should respect the family name rather than be in awe of it. Awe implies inferior standing. Still, if you wait too much longer then all you’ll have to pick from are divorced men - oh god, what if they have children? Stepchildren, can you imagine?

I managed to get Mary over this horrifying thought and out the door. Our walk was kind of short, Mary insisted on talking about men and dating and who she might set me up with and my patience ran out after half an hour. Not sure about tomorrow's walk, to be honest.

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