There have been several emails asking for the full story of my history with Wentworth, invoking Rule 3 of the blog: complete honesty. Given how unsettled I have been by running into him again, it’s probably clear that saying ‘we dated’ doesn't sum it up properly.
So here it is.
Wentworth came into my neighbourhood to stay with his brother for a summer and we met by chance at the produce market his brother owned. Our connection was instant.
So here it is.
Wentworth came into my neighbourhood to stay with his brother for a summer and we met by chance at the produce market his brother owned. Our connection was instant.
This was eight years ago. I was 19, he was 23. I was about to go off to university, he had just finished.
Without getting all misty-eyed and silly, I will just say that I loved him, and he loved me. We spent every free moment together and talked about everything. Nothing could have been a greater contrast with the fitful high school relationships I had. Wentworth and I were honest and open and real with each other from the very first second. There were no games. It was comfortable and electric at the same time.
We would spend our free days finding places to be alone. He took me to a provincial park and we kayaked out to an island, had a picnic on the beach and pretended the rest of the world didn’t exist. We spent hours walking around the city, talking. If we weren't together, time dragged until we were.
Without getting all misty-eyed and silly, I will just say that I loved him, and he loved me. We spent every free moment together and talked about everything. Nothing could have been a greater contrast with the fitful high school relationships I had. Wentworth and I were honest and open and real with each other from the very first second. There were no games. It was comfortable and electric at the same time.
We would spend our free days finding places to be alone. He took me to a provincial park and we kayaked out to an island, had a picnic on the beach and pretended the rest of the world didn’t exist. We spent hours walking around the city, talking. If we weren't together, time dragged until we were.
After a summer together - 4 amazing months - he proposed and I accepted. I knew that being with him was the right thing and marrying him seemed perfect.
I was persuaded by my family to retract my acceptance. They were convinced that at 19 I wasn't ready for marriage. Besides me being too young, they had other objections. From their point of view he was a young man fresh out of university with no way to support himself, no industry connections to speed his success along; he just had some crazy ideas and grand notions about his ability to realize his dreams. Dad would add that he came from a family name of no importance and was of insufficient social status to be marrying one of his daughters.
All this I could have withstood except Lacy’s argument that I would hold him back as he strove for a breakthrough in a tough industry. Wentworth was an entrepreneur and had beautiful dreams of changing the world by demonstrating that ethical businesses could be successful. He had just come out of the ‘cesspit of greed’ that was business school (his words) and believed even more strongly that he needed to prove he was right, to change the way the world did business. To realize his dreams, he would need to have years of late nights and intense focus on work. I didn't want to hold him back. He had great ideas and vision and ambition; he was going to change the world and I believed in him. I thought it was my duty to free him from the burden of me and I did it with great difficulty, out of love, and – in hindsight – out of stupidity.
I believe Wentworth thought I didn't love him. He certainly felt wronged and left town angry without giving us time to work through it or me a chance to properly explain.
I was persuaded by my family to retract my acceptance. They were convinced that at 19 I wasn't ready for marriage. Besides me being too young, they had other objections. From their point of view he was a young man fresh out of university with no way to support himself, no industry connections to speed his success along; he just had some crazy ideas and grand notions about his ability to realize his dreams. Dad would add that he came from a family name of no importance and was of insufficient social status to be marrying one of his daughters.
All this I could have withstood except Lacy’s argument that I would hold him back as he strove for a breakthrough in a tough industry. Wentworth was an entrepreneur and had beautiful dreams of changing the world by demonstrating that ethical businesses could be successful. He had just come out of the ‘cesspit of greed’ that was business school (his words) and believed even more strongly that he needed to prove he was right, to change the way the world did business. To realize his dreams, he would need to have years of late nights and intense focus on work. I didn't want to hold him back. He had great ideas and vision and ambition; he was going to change the world and I believed in him. I thought it was my duty to free him from the burden of me and I did it with great difficulty, out of love, and – in hindsight – out of stupidity.
I believe Wentworth thought I didn't love him. He certainly felt wronged and left town angry without giving us time to work through it or me a chance to properly explain.
I never heard from him again.
It took me a long time to recover from the loss; and my single status at 27 may hint at whether or not I ever found someone I liked better. I haven’t been sitting around pining after him, I've just never connected with anyone the way I did with him and I’m not interested in a relationship that lacks that.
Now, after all these years of silently following his success online (he was right - all his crazy ideas panned out and every company he started turned to gold), he is here again. Not for me, certainly, just coincidentally socializing with people I know which puts us in company together.
He has charmed everyone - they all see in him now what I saw eight years ago. He has apparently also found some of the Musgroves charming, because I’m told that he will be staying in the nearby resort town for a few weeks. He has an open invitation at the Lodge and we anticipate him to be there frequently.
I simultaneously live for and dread our first conversation in eight years.
Now, after all these years of silently following his success online (he was right - all his crazy ideas panned out and every company he started turned to gold), he is here again. Not for me, certainly, just coincidentally socializing with people I know which puts us in company together.
He has charmed everyone - they all see in him now what I saw eight years ago. He has apparently also found some of the Musgroves charming, because I’m told that he will be staying in the nearby resort town for a few weeks. He has an open invitation at the Lodge and we anticipate him to be there frequently.
I simultaneously live for and dread our first conversation in eight years.
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