Q&A #5

Q&A

You all apparently have many questions for W.

I haven’t told him about this blog yet, though I probably will one day - let him read it and see how his behaviour at the Lodge tortured me. Or not. 

But I did get some answers for you that I can share.

Q: W's use of 'half hope, half agony' in his email - is that a hint that he read this blog??

Ah, no. The half and half thing is something W and I used to say to each other back when we first dated - whenever one of us asked how the other was doing, the response was some variation of 'half x and half y". W was never satisfied with my single emotion answers, he wanted more, wanted nuance, wanted to better understand what was going on, so I started responding with fractional responses. Sometimes it was "half happy, a quarter annoyed at Beth, and a quarter anxious about the possibility of rain".  Yes, we were dorks.

Q1: Why didn't Wentworth come see me as soon as he got to Bath? He came to Bath just to see me, right?

A: I did ask him about this the night we finally got together. Here's the story. He had been in Bath for about an hour when he ran into his friends and went to the cafe where he ran into me. And then saw Will. And then his friends from Bath had told him that according to society gossip, Will and I were ‘close’. Which was confirmed when he saw me and Will at the concert. He explained how conflicted he was that night - wanting to tell me he still loved me but worried he was too late. After that he was undecided - he was convinced he couldn't compete with Will who had my family’s approval, and he felt sure I must hate him after how he treated me at the Lodge.


Q2: Was I in love with Wentworth the whole time?

A: Well, he is probably the reason all my other attempts at relationships failed - they paled in comparison to what W and I had - we connected so perfectly. But I wasn't sitting and pining after him for eight years. Maybe 2 years. Or 3 max.

When he showed up at the Lodge - reading back through the blog posts I can clearly see how much I was in denial. I wouldn't admit it but I hoped that we would see each other and fall back in love and so his icy demeanor hurt all the more. I tried to get used to the idea that it wasn't going to happen, that he and I had our chance and I blew it and that was it. But I kept harbouring hope - this tiny scrap of ‘maybe’ deep down inside. When I found out he and Louisa were not a thing, that little bit of hope exploded to fill every bit of me and I decided that I needed to try again with W - to risk rejection and more heartache, I couldn't go on without trying to have him by my side again. I wasn't sure how to go about it, and I certainly didn't blog about it, but it took up a lot of my brain space, trying to figure out how to make my move. Then he showed up in Bath…. And made the move for me.


Q3: What about Will?

A: Oh, Will. Now there is a tale. About a week ago, Elizabeth walked into Clara’s room before breakfast, to confirm the plans they had for the day. And she found Will hastily putting on his pants.

I know!

So, Clara has left. Rumour has it she is staying in one of Will’s apartments. Not sure if they’re serious about a relationship or just having a fling. I suspect Clara will be disappointed in the end, but who knows. Maybe it’s true love for both of them, you never know. My dad was a bit mopey for a few days, but someone gave him a new anti-wrinkle cream to try so he’s been distracted. He made a comment yesterday about Clara’s freckles (Dad loathes freckles), so I think he’s getting over her…. if the two of them even had a thing to begin with, something I prefer not to know the details of.

Elizabeth was angry at first, I think; having had hopes for Will twice now that have been disappointed. But she went on a date yesterday with a new guy in town, someone who seems to have most of The List criteria… so, fingers crossed? I don’t really know what’s going on with Beth, she won’t give me a serious answer when I ask questions about her personal life. If she ever does get engaged, I suspect we’ll all find out about it in the society pages first, me included.


Q What has W said about dating Louisa?

Louisa is a lovely person, but she’s so young, I was surprised when Wentworth seemed to be interested in her. He said he honestly didn't realize everyone thought they were so serious. They never officially went out on a date. They hung out a lot, but usually with other people – skiing with Rietta, dinner with the family, etc. He said there was one time - where he showed up at a restaurant expecting to meet a group of people for dinner and found only Louisa there. Looking back he realized she thought they were on a romantic date, he thought everyone had just bailed on dinner. There was one awkward kiss that Louisa planted on him after he drove her home from that dinner (she was pretty tipsy), but otherwise nothing actually happened between them, despite everyone’s idea that they were dating.

So, that should teach us all not to speculate about the relationships of others!